Vex King : Author of Good Vibes Good Life
Excerpt : Vex King instagram
While it’s difficult to define love, many of us can spot the difference between conditional and unconditional love. Conditional love is received based on what you do – it’s an exchange that comes with rules. In comparison, unconditional love is an offering that requires no repayment. The former you have to earn; the latter is shared freely, despite the circumstances.
Conditional love feels impure and controlling. Sadly, the love of our caregivers has often felt conditional. For example, we may only feel worthy of love if we get the excellent grades they expect. Not fulfilling this expectation feels like failure and rejection.
The impact of conditional love, especially from those we admire and survive through, can often impact all of our decision-making. It can also change the way we approach and manage our relationships. Often, we develop people-pleasing tendencies. We actively seek acceptance and admiration from those we encounter. Ultimately, impressing others feels like happiness.
Instagram is a perfect example of a place where we often want to scream about how successful we are by showing people what we have – and then wait for validation through likes. Often, people will even go broke trying to look wealthier, just for the appraisal.
Absolute happiness can’t come from external objects because you can’t control them. There’s no guarantee someone will accept your behaviour, be impressed by your purchase, celebrate your achievements, etc. And if you did it for them, and they reject it – you experience a double loss because a) you lost yourself in the process b) you lost their admiration. Not to mention that you might have lost time, money and friends in the process. Furthermore, people can always change their minds – and all emotions shift in nature.
Once you prioritize your values, well-being, and inner peace, you begin to change the way you live your life. It feels liberating because we start choosing ourselves, more often, instead of living in fear of what others may think of us. We give ourselves enough unconditional love, and it feels much more nourishing than the conditional love we were previously chasing.
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